Story continues below this advertisement
Sequels, ah yes. I believe Webster’s defines sequels as "when Hollywood runs out of ideas, but needs some quick cash". Seriously, when I began this, I had a joke that the first sequel Hollywood ever made was to D.W. Griffith's 'Birth of a Nation', with the title "B.O.A.N. - AFTERBIRTH!" but, as luck would have it, someone actually did indeed make a sequel to that, only it was called 'Fall of a Nation'.
Last year, when the Burkster gave me the privilege of scripting a movie countdown, I was already thinking, ‘Sweet Heysoos, how am I gonna follow THIS up?' The answer is simply to do what HOLLYWOOD would do, and that’s make a sequel.
We're going to keep with a racing mindset again this year, but we're going to have a definite overall champion this go-round. Borrowing a tried and true format from the early '70s, with a definite tip of the hat to legendary promoters and owners Ron Leek and the late, great Steve Evans -- but first I have to scrounge a big old mess of fireworks, a marching band, and if that stoner with a kite on his motorcycle is still around, I'll probably need that guy too.
This year we’re also going to loosen the reins a tad bit, because man does not live by bad flopper movies alone, so without further ado, our first of four features in this segment is: