 Chunks of lead, a soda can pop-top, a spring and nuts turned out to be the mystery bumps in the floor. |
Anyway, to make a long story short (because they don’t pay me enough for long stories), the couple eventually did sell Maggie to a guy named Bob Danison. Bob restored the car, which had some rust problems because it had been parked in a damp environment. After the resto was completed, Bob took Maggie out for a cruise, and he felt “some bumps” in the floor. When he rolled back the driver’s side carpet, he found chunks of lead used for the roof, a soda can pop-top, a spring and a couple of nuts. The line workers had simply laid the carpet over this junk.
The second story involves a little old lady (anybody have any “bad old lady” stories,” send ‘em in to the AARP.) This story comes from the car salesman who was a player in this event (we’d ask if there were any “bad car salesman” stories, but we know that there are none out there.) The story was related to noted high performance engine builder John Arruzza, of Arruzza High Performance, who told it to me.
The aforementioned old lady came into a Detroit Chrysler-Plymouth dealership looking for a new car. She really didn’t know what she wanted, and she ended up taking almost every car on the lot—from Dusters to GTXs to Chryslers for a test drive. She finally decided on a
big ‘70s Chrysler, something like a Newport. She drove away happy as a clam, and everything was great—until she bought the car back for some routine service.
It was then that one of the mechanics noticed the big lump under the carpet, right between the gas and brake pedal. Peeling back the carpeting, the mechanic discovered nothing less than outside rear view mirror—the complete assembly. The line workers obviously just installed the carpet over the mirror, which had somehow fallen into the car. Good thing one of the line workers hadn’t fallen asleep in the car, or he too would have been covered up by the carpeting.
The mechanic removed the offending rearview mirror and patted the carpet back into place. When the little old lady returned for her car she made a scene as little old ladies are wont to do on occasion. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?” she screamed. Seemed that the only reason she had bought the Chrysler in the first place was because of that bump on the floor. It was the only car that she test-drove that allowed her to keep the heel of her little old lady foot on the floor when she switched from the gas to the brake pedal.
Needless to say, the dealership mechanic took the car back to the service bay and carefully reinstalled the mirror under the carpeting—just as it had been done at the factory.
‘Course, everyone was happy. The dealer was happy because he had a satisfied customer. The little old lady was happy because she didn’t have to lift her heel when switching pedals. And the line worker was happy, because he didn’t have to expend the effort to bend over and pick up the mirror in the first place. 
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