Emptying out a cluttered notebook

Robert Hight is the 2009 NHRA Fuel Funny Car champ. Props to him, Jimmy Prock, the Prock crew, and the entire John Force Racing cadre of tuners. Tony Schumacher drove to a seventh (sixth straight) world championship -- unprecedented in auto racing history -- and he did it with a new crew and crew chief and a little help from Lee Beard, so props to those guys. Hight’s team made as impressive a drive to a championship over the final six races of the NHRA season as anyone could expect. What John Force did or orchestrated prior to last Sunday is over and can’t or won’t be changed. It’s just drag racing for Heaven’s sake. Let’s all just move on!

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I used to get mad listening to good ol’ Paul Page mangling the pronunciation of people’s names, misidentifying people and malaproping during the ESPN2 broadcast. No more. I’m over it; I don’t get mad anymore. I’ve turned the NHRA coverage into an occasional drinking game. Every time old Paul screws up pronouncing a name or misidentifies a person or anything like that during an ESPN2 broadcast, I have another slug on my cocktail. Depending on the strength of the cocktail, usually by the second hour I just don’t care if Page screws up any more and I’m laughing my ass off. I really enjoyed the last couple of NHRA broadcasts. Next year the Phlegm Building irregulars are all going to a local pub for the ESPN NHRA broadcasts with a limo on standby to take us home. Who knew drag racing on TV could be so entertaining?

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Just when you are sure that sports shows just can’t get any more boring the people that run the networks prove you wrong. The recent untelevised NHRA banquet reminded me that Speed TV is going to broadcast the NASCAR banquet live! Nothing says entertainment like seeing millionaires getting big checks. So most of us who pay for basic cable are paying to see that banquet broadcast live? The only thing more boring than going to a post-season racing banquet (unless you are getting a check) is watching one on TV!

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What the hell is the NHRA brass -- most specifically Dan Olson -- waiting for? Cruz Pedregon’s testing of a one fuel pump, single mag, 4-disc nitro motor was met with nothing but rave reviews from everyone I talked to, and that includes owners, tuners, and crew chiefs. If that spec was adopted, teams wouldn’t obsolete any of their current inventory of parts and, in fact, would automatically have more spares.