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And the winner of last month’s contest is

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“OK. Everyone, all together now! ‘All hail, all hail, John Force, the king! The most famous man this sport has every seen.’ Okay, now, the second verse!”

- Karl Wortman, Akron, Ohio

Honorable mentions

“I say, Lord please keep this man and funny cars safe as we are never going to keep a TV audience without them. Amen.”    - Mr. Jim, Oro Valley, Arizona

“Make it look like a real race, John. I don’t want Robert more than this distance in front of you.” – Larry Bova, Dyer, Indiana

“Heal these men who hath sinned so greatly. Feel the power of the Glorious Glendora flow through your bodies, and bring you both to eternal life in Wally World.” – Brian Losness, Boise, Idaho

“Just a second, John, I think Elvis is trying to contact me. And Graham, tell the guy in the black shirt and bald head to listen up!” – Dan, Indianapolis, Indiana

“Yes, NHRA is accepting a John Force helmet in lieu of the $10,000 fine from the incident at Indy.” – Tom Moore, South San Francisco Bay area, California

“Okay, one more time. This is how far you must stay from anyone named Pedregon.” – Garth Allen, Edmonton, Alberta

“Okay, John, Krista taught you the words to Drive It, so if you flub them AGAIN, here comes Tasca and we’ll use him for the TV spot.” – Dave Peto, Tampa, Florida

“By the power invested in me by Coca-Cola and Full Throttle, I declare you joined at the hip, and Mr. Force, you will be able to continue to tell Mr. Light how to run our sport and what rules you and your teams can and can’t abide by.” – B. Lee, Meridian, Idaho

“OK, picture this – JFRA, John Force Racing Association. And we can call the trophy ‘the Simba!’” – Joe Zito, Niagara Falls, New York